In your eyes, people see life... You see yourself
as just an average person! You enjoy life, love
wildlife, but also enjoy time with those who
know you best. You like to get outdoors and let
your mind wander over all of the mysteries god
gave to you. You don't really have a certain
sanctuary because you're so well-rounded, but
you like having fun and adventures, but can
also be found sitting quietly about, reading a
book. You have a pretty good life ahead of you,
never trade it for anything else :)


What Lies Behind Your Eyes?
brought to you by Quizilla


Life? What life?! I have no life.

What I have is a job that takes up most of my time. And during the hours that I'm not working? I sleep.

I live in a cruel, cruel world.

Argh. I hate my job.

It's crappy and redundant and eye-straining and oh God, I'm getting back cramps. Back cramps! At 17!

I'm practically still a kid, demmit!!

Bah, I sure hope the paycheck's worth all the pain and effort.

And when I say effort, I mean EFFORT.

I swear a lot of my co-workers are out to get me fired. And they're Filipinas! Where's the love for their kababayan, their fellow Filipina?!

Traitors.

But really, those things doesn't affect me that much. Nope, I wouldn't mind all of that all. Backstabbers? I could ignore them. Back pain? Hah, there's Alaxan for that.

I could just be the perfect little worker bee.

If only there wasn't this guy that I'm crushing on.

A Japanese guy 7 years my senior, an engineer and who friggin' looks like Harry Potter.

This is ridiculous.

I travel God-knows-how-many miles away from the Philippines, away from God-knows-how-many glassboys that I incidentally stalk, live among God-knows-how-many cute Japanese guys who DON'T have glasses and still end up liking a guy who WEARS a maroon-framed one. And he doesn't even smell good. He smells like sweat and sun and soap and machinery all mixed together.

Unbelievable.

Of course, it doesn't help that there's also this really, really pretty half-Japanese, half-Brazilian 15 year old who's also crushing on him.

Hmm... wonder who'd he prefer? A stick-shaped Filipina who doesn't understand Nihonggo, has wire-like hair and wears retainers AND braces, OR a kawaii Brazilian who looks Japanese, not to mention SPEAKS Nihonggo, and who has oh-so-shiny raven hair and perfect smile?

Hmm. Tricky.

Hah, as if there's any competition in the first place.

...

....

.....

I hate her.

She's practically a Mary Sue. She's just so... perfect. And everybody just loooooves her.

Hah. See? What's there not to hate?

Umm.

She even has this sweet voice that goes quite well for her. While all I have is this... deep, masculine sound that comes out of my throat.

What, me? Insecure?

Pfsh. You have no idea.

I hate her because she's pretty and well-liked. I hate her because she's everything I'm not. Hah, now that says a lot about my personality.

I have turned into a bitter, bitter cow.

I'm sorry but I couldn't help it. It's as if all my insecurities feed off of her perfect little face.

The green-eyed monster's on a roll.

I should stop. I know I shouldn't compare myself to her. I know that this kind of thinking will ruin me. I know I should stop.

But I can't. I just can't.

My annual depression is starting to kick in once again.

Only this time, I'm God-knows-how-many miles away from the very people whom I can talk to about this.

This time, only I can help myself.

I can get through this. And I will.

It's about time I finally do things on my own. I do believe it's also about time I become a little.. dare I say, mature? I actually am turning 18 in a few months.

Well.

Maybe I'm not such a kid after all. Friday, June 10, 2005 at 3:15 PM

whoi. yearly depression ba ito? and send me a pic of this guy, asap! err..and of that effing girl, who i presume doesn't speak english? harhar. at least you have something over her. and this boy...don't think of the girl. karirin! in jesse's words, 'KAYA YAN!!!!!'

saicho_18 : slytherin ^-^ 9:44 PM  

comment1: we got the same result in that quiz. but, surprise, surprise. we both don't HAVE lives. at least you have a job. at least you have a crush. i, on the other hand, spend most of my time on the net, and is now out-of-like. i want to go shopping, i want to buy all these things, i want to go see concerts and movies. but, wow, im broke. ehe.

comment2: megame-kun. what's wrong with glasses? i like intellectual/nerdy-looking types.

comment3: mary-sue. she can't be all THAT perfect. maybe she's really a man, y'know. or she has a terminal disease. mwehe. kiddin..jst tryn to cheer u up.:)

comment4: insecurity issues. sus. we all have 'em. guess you didn't get to see that looooong ranting post i wrote some time ago. its a rut. you'll get out of it.

comment5: saich's comment. mwahahaha. tama. karirin! who says looks are everything, ha? ha?! tadyak!:D

pasenxa..nadala ako mxado ng post mo..:D

goodluck! 9:59 PM  

saicho: *sniff* waaaaa!!!!! i miss talking to you on the phone!! you know YOU'RE the only one who can get me out of this depression thingy!! you and your cynicism!!!! i miss you!!!!

chenyl:

comment 1: ahehe. and i thought i was in a predicament. ^____^

comment 2: i'm obsessed with glassboys. that's exactly what's wrong. glassboys are one of my ULTIMATE weaknesses, along with stupid insecurities and anger mismanagement. i thought being away from guys with glasses would... umm... cure(?!) me of at least one of said weaknesses. alas, 'tis my fate. T___T

comment 3: haha. megane-kun can't actually touch her. she's 15!! it'll be statutory rape!! heh, i catually felt better after reading your comment. come to think of it, i think she has family problems. i mean, come on. she's supposed to be in school or something. and i noticed she keeps getting thinner. or maybe i'm just willing myself to believe that she's not THAT perfect. ahehe.

comment 4: what's the date/title of that post? i wanna read it. haha.

comment 5: nah. i just realized that even if we do have some sort of connection/spark, i'll only be here for 4 more months. and i'm the type who easily becomes emotionally attached to people. therefore, kapag kinarir ko sya (kahit kariran lang talaga), pag-alis ko, malulungkot ako ng sobra. so. i'd really rather not. hehe.

haha. nadala den ako sa comments mo! and thanks! your words sure cheered me up! XD 8:35 PM